100 Job Strategies
100 Job Strategies · 80 of 100
The Assistant Route
Executive assistants control the calendar and remember exactly who was rude to them.
In short
An executive assistant decides what reaches the person you are trying to contact, which meetings happen and in what order. They are the actual gatekeeper, they are almost never treated as a professional contact, and treating them as one is both decent and effective.
The situation
Someone spends three weeks trying to reach a managing director. Emails go unanswered, calls are intercepted, and each interception is treated as an obstacle to work around.
By the fourth call the assistant has formed a settled view of this person: pushy, slightly condescending, does not listen.
Someone else calls once, introduces themselves properly, explains in two sentences what it is about, asks whether there is a better route, and thanks them by name.
The assistant mentions that the MD does read messages forwarded with a note, offers to pass it on, and does. It arrives with an implicit endorsement rather than as an intrusion.
Why this works
Executive assistants exercise genuine discretion over access, and that discretion is exercised partly on the basis of how people behave.
They decide what gets forwarded, what gets filed, which meeting requests are accommodated and which are declined. An assistant who thinks you are serious and courteous will help; one who has decided you are a nuisance will not, and their assessment travels with you.
They are also frequently asked for their impression, and that impression carries real weight. Many senior people explicitly ask their assistant what they thought of a visitor, and treat the answer as diagnostic — precisely because how someone behaves towards a person with no apparent power over them is the most reliable available signal of character.
Beyond access, assistants hold unusual institutional knowledge. They know who is actually responsible for what, who is about to leave, which projects have momentum and when their executive is reachable. That information is freely given to people they like and withheld from people they do not.
Almost nobody treats them as a professional contact. Candidates address them as an obstacle, which is both unpleasant and strategically stupid.
The right approach is not a technique. It is treating someone as a colleague, which happens to work.
How to run it
- 1
Learn and use their name
Ask at the first contact and use it thereafter. This alone distinguishes you from almost everyone else who calls.
- 2
Be brief and clear about your purpose
Two sentences on who you are and what it concerns. Assistants triage constantly and vagueness gets filed.
- 3
Ask them the routing question directly
"Is there a better way to reach him about this, or someone else I should be speaking to?" They usually know, and are usually willing to say.
- 4
Accept a no without pushing
If they say the executive is not available, believe them. Persistence past that point converts a neutral party into an opponent.
- 5
Thank them specifically
A short note thanking them by name for their help costs nothing and is rare enough to be remembered.
- 6
Treat everyone in the building the same way
Receptionists, coordinators and security staff form the same impressions and are asked the same questions.
What to say
When it does not work
- Treating politeness as a tactic. Performative friendliness is transparent. The approach works because it is genuine, and assistants detect the difference immediately.
- Attempting to circumvent them. Going around an assistant after they have said no is noticed, resented and reported.
- Repeated contact. Calling daily converts a neutral gatekeeper into an active obstacle.
- Asking them to advocate for you. Their role is access, not representation. Requesting endorsement puts them in an awkward position.
- Assuming they lack authority. Many assistants have substantial delegated decision-making. Condescension is both rude and inaccurate.
The person deciding whether your message reaches anyone is the one almost every candidate treats as an obstacle. Treating them as a colleague is not a technique — it just happens to work.
Questions
Is being polite to an assistant really a strategy?
It is less a strategy than the removal of a self-inflicted obstacle, which is why it works. Executive assistants exercise genuine discretion over what gets forwarded and which meetings happen, and they are frequently asked directly for their impression of people. Candidates who treat them as an obstacle create an adverse assessment that travels. The approach only works when it is genuine, since performative friendliness is transparent to someone who fields dozens of calls daily.
What should I actually ask them?
The routing question is the most valuable: whether there is a better way to reach the person about this particular matter, or whether someone else is the right contact. Assistants usually know precisely who is responsible for what and are frequently willing to say, which can save weeks of misdirected effort. Keep your own explanation to two sentences, because they triage constantly and vagueness gets filed rather than forwarded.
What if they tell me the person is unavailable?
Accept it without pushing. Persistence past a clear no converts someone neutral into an active obstacle, and that assessment is communicated upward. It is entirely reasonable to ask whether there is a better time or an alternative route, but attempting to go around them after being told no is noticed, resented and reported. The relationship is worth more over time than any single attempt at access.
Should I ask an assistant to recommend me?
No. Their role is managing access rather than advocating for candidates, and asking for endorsement puts them in an awkward position they did not sign up for. What you can reasonably ask is whether your message reached the person, whether there is a better route, and when might be a sensible time to follow up. The goodwill produces help with access, which is what you actually need.
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